Ahh, it’s been a wild week, huh? Or maybe it hasn’t been for you – lol, it’s definitely been crazy for me, though! Last week, I survived my finals, I thought I failed an exam that I actually did well in, I was honest with a crush, I said (temporary) good-byes to my friends here in college, I had my last day at work and my volunteer organizations, and, of course, I completed my undergraduate education.
So, yeah, it’s been a weirdly impactful, yet still low-key last couple of days. I feel like this is it – the end. The end of what, though, is something that I’m still trying to figure out.
Maybe it’s the end of my childhood and naivety. The last two years have definitely forced me to acknowledge the messy, unintentional cruelty of others, as well as my own toxic habits. On a lighter note, I also am now used to buying my own food, booking my own doctor appointments, emailing landlords, etc. I’m a grown-up, even if I’m still a little scared of the adult world.
Maybe it’s the end of my friendships. It’s a sad fact of life that a lot of friends drift apart when they aren’t in close vicinity, and, try as I might, it is inevitable that I’ll eventually lose some of the people I’m extremely attached to right now. That possibility hurts, and I’m already mourning the loss of my weekly in-person chats with my friends, and daily conversations with my co-workers.
And, I guess, I’m sad that something so good has ended. It’s like when you read a really good book, and you finally reach the last page. It’s what you wanted, and what you were working towards, but you still feel a loss when you close the cover. My college experience was incredible and complex and strange and happy, and I’m so, so proud of myself for being brave and going for every opportunity I could.
Now, I guess I have to take the lessons I learnt from the past, and apply them to my future endeavors. Wish me luck!